thoughts on grief + COVID19

Someday, I will tell my children about what it was like to live in a time such as this. I want to be able to share that story with honesty, humility, grace, kindness, and authenticity. I want to be able to say that my eyes - and my heart - were open. I want to be able to say that I did what I could and that I helped others as I was able. I want to be able to say that I was real and didn't hide how I really felt. I want to be able to say that I watched and participated as the world come together and figured this thing out. 

God just is.

When I am with God, everything is in balance. Everything is with perspective. And, any thoughts I have (positive or otherwise) feel exquisitely simple and yet equally profound. It is as though my spirituality is full of reminders of love, yearnings for compassion, and fierce dedication to hope. All of this, without any of my own internal baggage. It is quite nice.

Body, Trauma, & Connection

So, what, in this context does healing look like?

For me, it has been about confronting the pain, sitting in silence, recognizing the hurt (non-judgmentally), and taking power back over it. Just trying to identify what I feel in any given moments has been annoyingly slow (to be honest). But also, as I have been able to do this, I can move closer to a radical acceptance of myself.